


My Heart Wanders

by daelisix



Category: Day6 (Band), GOT7
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, inspired by Teen Top's Missing You
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 07:44:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14039490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daelisix/pseuds/daelisix
Summary: “Tell me, when you hug her, is it because you just want to hug her or you hug her because you miss Angel? When you snuggle yourself on her shoulder, isn’t it because she smells like her?”





	My Heart Wanders

 

“I’ll be there any minute, bro” Jae said on the other line before hanging up the phone.

  
He let out a sigh as he put his phone down on the table and started spinning his pen, thinking how is it that they’ve got so many things to do when the new semester has just started.

  
He was already drowning in his thoughts when his nose caught a familiar smell. He looked at the lady who passed by him and seeing her back figure made his heart do a flip; that wavy long hair that moves smoothly as she walks, and those curves that make him want to drape his arm around them. With mouth agape, he mustered up some strength to move, or speak at least. But just when he was about to, the lady turned to greet someone from the table not so far away from him and realized she was not who he thought she was.

He let out a sharp breath and snuggled to his seat. He bit his lower lip and took a glance at her. She was smiling brightly while talking to someone, her friend maybe, across her seat. Her eyes scanned the place a bit and saw his eyes pinned on her. She unconsciously pouted and shrugged it off as he ran a hand through his hair.

  
He arched his forehead as he thought why of all days, it has to be today—their supposed to be 5th anniversary—that he saw a lady that reminds him so much of her. He once again took a glimpse of  _her_ , and coincidentally she saw his eyes darted on her again when she lifted up her head to talk to her friend. Her eyebrow raised in query but decided to not mind.

  
“Brian, I’ve been texting you. Why weren’t you texting back?” Brian composed himself as Jae took a seat across him with forehead creased. “Yeah, right. I knew it. I knew it. Cut yourself some slack, bro. C’mon let’s go. We’ll hang out with Jinyoung and the others today.”

  
Brian scratched the back of his head as his lips formed a thin line. Before getting up from his seat, his eyes unconsciously looked for the lady again. To his surprise she was already gazing at him, eyes full of curiosity. He took a deep breath and let it out before leaving the place.

  
For hours, he’s been thinking about the lady—who she is, what she’s like, what her name is, and such. He’s been thinking about her, too—how she is, if she’s happy, if she’s moved on. He’s been thinking about her and the lady that reminds him of her.  _Maybe it was just the hair, her perfume and her smile, nothing more and nothing less._  But he’s wrong. He found this out when he saw her entering the room in one of his classes, introduced herself as a late enrollee and sat beside him.

  
He tried not to mind her or to even take a glimpse of her. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with her. But the odds seem to be against him when the professor announced about a 2 month-long project to be done by pair—and he was paired with her.

  
They were given with the question “What is the best way for people to live?” and it’s up to them on how they’re going to present it—whether do a report, a poem, a drawing or painting, a song or anyhow they want it to be done.  
When the class was dismissed, he immediately stood up and grabbed his bag to get out of the room. “Hey!” a sweet voice exclaimed but he didn’t bother looking back until he felt tender fingers gripped his wrist.

  
“Lily…” she offered a hand to shake but he just looked at it. She narrowed her eyes on him and took his hand to shake it.  “Mr. Kang, right?”

  
He pulled his hand back and looked at her blankly. “Brian”, he uttered before turning around to leave.

  
“Are you like playing hard to get or something?” With that being said, he turned to face her again, unsure of what she meant. “At a coffee shop 2 days ago, weren’t you looking at me? Not just once, not just twice, but thrice.” His eyebrows furrowed. Before he could even take a step to turn away, she spoke again “They said that when you caught someone looking at you once, it’s a coincidence. And twice might still be but thrice is intentional.  Were you interested? And you’re like acting cold right now to make me feel you’re not to get my attention?”

  
He scoffed. “Dream on”

  
He became grumpy all day.  _Even the way she talks is like her._  As much as he doesn’t want to get involve with her, she’s been persistent on talking to him. She’s her partner in a project, of course. But it might be more than that.

  
Eventually, Brian gave up. He couldn’t do anything about it anyway since they need to start doing the project. “So… what are we gonna do? How about like a documentary?” Lily asked and Brian just shrugged. She pouted and Brian’s gaze landed on her lips. He took a gulp and looked away while Lily sighed.  
“Are you just naturally cold or you’re just putting up an act?” Brian lazily put his gaze back at her as her forehead creased “Or you became like this because something happened; something changed you” Her lips formed a thin line and her eyes narrowed before she continued “Like… a past love” His jaw clenched and she smirked “Bingo!”

  
It irritates him so much how many things remind him of her. He just wants to forget her but fate seems to be playing with him—making him meet someone who resembles his past love so much.

  
She took a glance outside the coffee shop and smirked. As if a light bulb appeared on the top of her head, she took her bag and gripped Brian’s wrist, making him stand up. Confusion was plastered on his face as she drags him out of the place.

  
“W-wait!” Brian took a step back, afraid to get wet from the rain but Lily was thinking otherwise. She held his wrist again and started running. Brian hurriedly pushed a button on his car key remote to open his car. She immediately put her bag inside, took Brian’s and put it in, too.

  
Brian arched his eyebrows when she closed the door but she just smiled widely. She took his hand and ran. His gaze shifted from her bouncing hair to her hand that is holding his. _If I loosen up and let her be in my life, will I be able to forget you?_  He slightly shook his head and decided to let her be so he started running with will.

  
They started dancing in the rain, running and trying to catch each other. She finally saw him laugh and she felt her heart skipped a beat and her cheeks heated up but she brushed them all off.

  
As days passed, they’ve drawn closer to each other. “How about, you know, let’s just explore things, observe people and realize for ourselves what’s the best way to live, and make something out of those experiences?” Brian suggested

  
“Do you play instruments?”

  
“Yeah, I can play the guitar and piano”

  
Lily smiled and took Brian’s hand and led him to the music room. “Tada!” she exclaimed with a big bright smile plastered on her face while shaking her hands with her arms stretched. She once again held his hand and made him to sit in front of the piano. She tilted her head, motioning Brian to play.  
His eyebrows hid beneath his hair when he raised them in hesitation. He softly let out a breath as he raised his hands and put them above the piano. When his fingers met the keys, everything became nostalgic. He closed his eyes and started playing and unconsciously he started singing while flashback of memories played on his head.

  
“They say a few drinks will help me to forget her but after one too many I know that I’m never.”

  
His chest started to ache as remnants of his past love continue to play a show in his mind. He was so indulged in singing when a soft voice joined him. He slowly opened his eyes only to see hers darted on his.

  
“And my mates are all there trying to calm me down ‘cause I’m shouting your name all over the town. I’m swearing if I go there now I can change your mind, turn it all around.”

  
When Brian stopped playing, there was a few seconds of silence. Lily shrugged her shoulders as her thumbs found their way on the back pocket of her pants. “So… what’s her name?” Brian looked up to her and saw her biting her lower lip, avoiding eye contact “You know… that past love of yours who made you cold towards people”

  
“Angel”

  
She pouted before swallowing the lump in her throat. The way he said her name was soft, and love was evident. “Wow. So was she like a literal angel? Like someone who descended from heaven and hid her wings?”

  
“Yeah”

  
She pressed her lips together as she asks herself why there is a pang on her chest.  _Oh, I’m not dumb. Yeah, I like him_. She became interested the moment she caught him taking glances. She was just curious that she started bothering him and made him talk to her. But being with him 6 days a week, and it’s been 2 and a half weeks now, made her fondness of him grow.

  
Later that day, she found out from one of Brian’s friends that she resembles Angel so much.  _That must be the reason why he kept on glancing at me that time_. Although it hurts, she thought she could make him forget her.

  
Few days passed and they became even closer to each other. Brian couldn’t deny that he’s also fond of her. He doesn’t know if it’s just because she reminds him of Angel or it’s because she’s the reason why he could laugh like before again.

  
One Friday night, they decided to meet up to see the town’s festival together. Her lips curved immediately when she spotted Brian waiting for her. He looks so manly. Lily smiled to herself as she thought he’s serving a boyfriend look. She ran to him and grabbed his hand. Brian made a lopsided smile as he shifted his gaze from her bouncing hair to their hands.  _Why does she love grabbing hand and wrist so much? Is she even aware?_  He let out a soft chortle as Lily continued to drag Brian along in the crowd.

  
When Lily finally decided to slow down, she realized she was holding his hand. Just when she was about to let it go, Brian intertwined their fingers. “We might lose each other if one of us let go” Brian uttered as his gaze roamed around the crowd.  _‘Just this once’_  Brian thought as he felt her fingers moved. She took a gulp and quickly composed herself.

  
They had so much fun that night. They played and laughed a lot. Brian offered a ride but Lily insisted to walk so he walked her home. They were goofing around when a speeding car passed by. Fortunately, Brian was fast and pulled Lily, her head on his chest and his arm on her waist, the other hand on her wrist. His forehead was creased as his eyes followed the speeding car. He looked down to see if Lily was okay, only to find her looking up at him. Lily noticed how his strong expression changed when his eyes found her. Their faces were just few inches apart from each other’s.  Brian’s eyes shifted down to her lips before pulling his gaze back to her eyes. She swallowed a dry lump in her throat as her eyes fixed on his lips for a few moments, too. That’s when Brian lost it. He leaned to close the gap between them and crashed his lips softly on hers and she responded. It lasted for a good three seconds. She softly smiled and murmured her thanks for walking her home before she entered her house.

  
Monday came and Lily’s blood was on a rush. She didn’t know what to do or how she should act around him. Is she the only one overthinking about what happened last Friday night? Was she the only one who couldn’t sleep for three days because of that three-second kiss?

  
_‘Act normal. Act normal. Act normal.’_  She chanted repeatedly in her mind but when she bumped into someone’s chest and saw the face similar to the face she kept on thinking and seeing in her mind for the past days, she turned back to escape—escape from something she doesn’t know.  _Why am I walking away?_

  
She thought her heart just stopped when an arm caught her and made her turn. “Where are you going? Class will start soon” he tilted his head to their classroom’s door.  _It doesn’t seem to bother him._  She gulped and cleared her throat “Uhm, nothing—no—nowhere. I just thought I forgot something.” She showed a tight smile before she shuffled her feet towards the door.

  
Fortunately, their lesson made Lily preoccupied and she was finally able to act normal around him. But what’s ‘normal’ like for both of them? Is Brian playing with her hand while he’s lazing around in the music room included? Or him pulling Lily closer to encircle his arm around her waist? She knows they’re not but she didn’t protest.

  
As days passed, things that weren’t normal became normal: back hugs, casual intertwining of fingers and even pecks at random times. They haven’t really talked about it. They don’t know what they are, what they have, they just go with the flow—with their feelings; with the moment; with the mood.

  
“What was she like?” Lily asked Brian’s friend who just came back from Thailand one day. Apparently, he’s Angel’s best friend.

  
Bambam’s  eyebrows raised in confusion as he processed Lily’s question “Ah! You mean, Angel?” Lily, with lips pressed together, nodded. “A literal angel, man. She has a sweet and nice voice. She’s super kind yet really fun to be with. She eats a lot, like really. Her curves are deceitful because she eats more than I do and Brian really loved seeing her enjoy eating. She was the one who encouraged Brian about music. She was the one who made Brian dance in the rain. She was—“

  
“What are you guys talking about?” Brian who just walked out from the kitchen butted in as he put down a bowl of chips on the coffee table. He sat beside Lily and planted a soft kiss on her shoulder.

  
Bambam, with mouth agape, just stared in confusion because Lily said she’s not ‘Brian’s girl’ but the latter is acting all lovey-dovey with her. That’s when it hit him that the two have something but aren’t really a ‘thing’.

  
She swallowed a bitter lump when she realized that the memories they’ve made were memories of Brian and Angel. “Nothing in particular” she slightly beamed at him.

  
She tried to not mind. She convinced herself that maybe if she’d try, she’d be able to replace Angel in his heart until she overhead Bambam and Brian’s conversation few days after.

  
“You’re fully aware that she can never be Angel, right?” Lily clenched her fist as she put it down just when she was about to knock on Brian’s door. “Jae and Wonpil told me what you’ve been doing and both of them aren’t blind to not see that you’re seeing Angel in Lily.”

  
“It’s not like that, Bro”

  
“What? You mean when I saw you tie Lily’s hair in a bun? And not just like any other bun but Angel’s favorite kind of bun? Or when you tried to play with it, trying to braid it? When I heard you telling her to eat more and suggested Angel’s favorite food? They’re all not what we’re thinking? You’re not just seeing Angel in her but you’re turning her into Angel”

  
Lily’s shoulders were moving up and down fast as she tried to calm her breathing. She tried to gulp but her throat was so dry.

  
“Tell me, when you hug her, is it because you just want to hug her or you hug her because you miss Angel? When you snuggle yourself on her shoulder, isn’t it because she smells like her?” Bambam continued and Lily couldn’t take it any longer when she heard Brian replied “I don’t know”

  
“Is Brian with you?” Jae asked on the other line of the phone hours after. She took a glance on her wristwatch and saw it’s past 11 on the evening already. She heard faint voices of Brian’s friends on the background, Wonpil’s, Sungjin’s, Dowoon’s and even Bambam’s.  There was a bitter taste on her tongue, or must be her imagination. She cleared her throat before answering ‘no’ to Jae.

  
“Why? Is something wrong?”

  
“No. No. Nothing. But just in case you get a hold of him, could you please contact me?” She heard Sungjin and Bambam’s voices talking. She heard Bambam explaining what happened; that Brian wanted to be alone after their talk about Angel.

  
“Okay” she said almost whisper before hanging up the phone.  
She massaged her temple as she tried to take the heaviness on her chest away. She wanted to be alone, too but she couldn’t deny that she’s worried about him. It’s almost midnight.

  
She walked around the town for almost half an hour until she found him sitting under a street light post, near an alley. She stopped for a moment as she admired how the rays of light shone upon him like he’s some angel.  _Angel_. She bit her lip before she decided to take a step.

  
“Bri…” she called softly as she kneeled down in front of him, patting his face “Bri? Bri?”

  
Brian’s forehead furrowed as he felt a pang on his chest.  _Bri Bri._  An image of Angel flashed in his mind calling him ‘Bri Bri’ playfully. He hastily grabbed Lily’s wrist and pulled her for a kiss. “Angel…” he whispered, more like a plea.

  
Lily didn’t know what tasted bitter, is it the alcohol from Brian’s mouth or her tears running down her face? She softly pushed Brian’s chest and stood up, fished her phone out of her pocket and texted Jae.

  
Brian woke up the next morning with a headache. He rummaged for his phone and checked his inbox.

  
_Record what you’ve composed and send it to me. I’ll practice the song on my own. See you next week._

  
Brian dialed Lily’s number as he struggled getting up but he couldn’t get hold of her. He tried texting her but she didn’t respond. He still doesn’t know what the lyrics for their project will be. Every time they go to the music room, Lily would just hum along to Brian playing the piano while writing on her notebook. Brian didn’t even question her and just trusted her. But he’s so confused right now as to why she suddenly texted him that. It was a cold demand. And aren’t they going to practice together at least once? He’s going to play the piano in class and not just a recorded one. Will they be able to pull it through?

  
When he went out of his bed room, his friends welcomed him with shooting daggers in the living room. Sungjin was kind enough to explain everything and he couldn’t help but murmur curses.

  
He tried to contact Lily, find her and talk to her but there’s no dice. She wasn’t even at their class. He tried to roam around their school, asked every single person they know but he’s still clueless.

  
The day of the deadline for their project came but Lily is still nowhere to be found. Their classmates were already presenting and Brian couldn’t focus on whatever’s happening in the room.

  
“Mr. Kang? Mr. Kang?” their professor called out but he didn’t hear a thing. Someone tapped his shoulder and motioned him to look in front. “It’s your turn.”

  
He looked around before standing up. He didn’t even wonder why their professor didn’t ask anything about his partner. What is he going to do now?  
He sat in front of the piano and took a breath as their classroom’s door opened.  Lily stepped in and their professor just nodded and motioned her to stand in front. She didn’t even bother to land a gaze at Brian.

  
“Mr. Kang? Please start”

  
Brian’s gaze lingered at Lily for a few more moments before he finally touched the keys and played. He didn’t know what will happen. All he knows is just to play what he has composed. He was a bit startled when he finally heard Lily’s  _angelic_  voice. Everyone was listening intently and others were nodding as they agree to the lines of the song.

  
The song talked about living a life without regret; doing things that you want, expressing yourself as much as you want to; taking risks even if it’s scary; treasuring memories, making the painful ones into lessons and stepping stones to be stronger as you enter life’s harder levels; not blaming anyone to what you’ve become; not hating even if you’re hurting nor hold someone responsible of what you’re feeling; giving love even if you’re breaking; forgiving so you could live life free from burden; even if it’s hard, you gotta see the light in every dark night; let go if you got to even if it would hurt you; accept things that you can’t change; be grateful in every little thing and say sorry if you’ve caused someone in pain.

  
The room was occupied with loud applause from everyone. Lily just beamed faintly as she walked out of the room. The professor didn’t seem to mind but Brian did. He didn’t even bother to make an excuse as he dashed out of their room and called Lily. He was expecting for her to run or walk fast but she looked back and waited for him.

  
“Uhm…” He bit his lower lip and licked it as he was trying to find words to say  


Lily smiled to him “It’s okay. Just don’t let your heart wander to somewhere it doesn’t belong.” She caressed his cheek and studied his face “Don’t worry, I’m fine. Just don’t say sorry and say that you regret everything. Because I treasured every moment with you even if those memories were just a remake of memories of Angel and you.” Her voice cracked and a tear escaped.  


Brian held her hand on his cheek “But sorry I hurt you”

  
She nodded with a smile and painful laugh afterwards before pulling her hand away and tiptoed for a kiss “Farewell” she beamed before turning her back as Brian just stood still as he watched her walk away.

  
Brian couldn’t deny that he’s hurt, too. It was so foolish of him to let his emotion drive him. He didn’t just lose Angel but also Lily. He should’ve made sure of what he’s feeling first. He wanted to keep one but he lost two. He didn’t want to be a jerk. His selfishness ate him and he just didn’t know what he could do.

  
He’ll just try to live like Lily’s farewell message to him; take Lily’s advice through that song that talks about the best way to live. Everyone has their own views and opinion but he wants to take a shot on this one.

  
_Next time, I’ll be careful not to make my heart wander to where it doesn’t belong. I’ll make sure to love someone for who she is not because I see someone in her for who she’s not. I’ll make sure to pour my emotions and affection to her because that’s what I feel for her and not just because I miss someone who she resembles._

  
“Farewell…. Is it?”

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I didn’t mean to make Brian a jerk in this story. It’s just that, this story is inspired from the song Missing You by Teen Top  
> 2\. Lily is the one who suggested that song and is also the reason for the Better Together story (Brian x Reader) ; I don’t usually take requests but she’s an exception and those mutuals on twitter who helped me with the scenes with my previous works  
> 3\. I actually wrote a song! But I formatted my phone and lost it. And my mind is really dry and couldn’t make another one. So I just described it.  
> 4\. Sorry, I made this kinda rush bc this is kinda long overdue. I really want to publish this before Lily’s vacation ends (and that’s two days from the day it was published). So from the festival scene till the end, I didn’t really put much thought on them anymore and Im sorry. I wanted to put more feelings into them too but if I don’t do it today, I don’t know when I’d be able to bc I’d be busy with thesis; that’s why there are also a lot of plot holes.  
> 5\. We have different views in life. And as much as I want to justify, explain and elaborate every point I made there (the description of the song), I need to do something. If you have a different view, I accept and respect it.


End file.
